Friday, July 21, 2006

can not think of a title

today i saw so many familiar faces at the demonstration. it filled me with so much hope. many people have left, but there are still so many of the beautiful and strong. it was so good to see them. gave me strength... beautiful beirut.

i noticed today that none of us here at home can speak properly any more. we are so tired and drained that is has affected our communication. i am slurring words. i have to repeat my sentence a few times to get it right. my husband sometimes stops in the middle of his sentence and zones out. is it related to stress? fatigue? ... perhaps despair.

even tapi, my dog, is stressed out. she has been barking at the wall for no reason over and over again. i think the noise of the bombs have gotten to her somehow.

the news on tv was bad as usual. again, i want to ask.. who are all these people making decisions on my behalf?

i got to see my family today. we sat on the balcony and talked. it was so dark. so many empty apartments. very few street lights. so so quiet. there is a heavy smog that is covering beirut from all the bombings. we spoke politics for a while. everyone trying to guess what was going to happen tomorrow and next week. trying to piece things together. like a game. it was good to see them. and the beautiful thing was that today there was no talk of evacuation amongst us. what a relief.

a friend told me to stock up. that i had to buy more food for my kitchen. that what i had would not last more than a few days and that by the time i went to the supermarket again it would be empty.

i refuse. i refuse to stock up. i refuse. i refuse to accept this!

i believe in us. i believe in you. i believe in me. i believe in beirut.

with love,
beirut 3:02am


Blogger Fayrouz said...

I believe in you Zeina.
Keep strong
Big hugs from Adelaide in Australia

5:42 AM  
Blogger nounou :) said...

I believe in you too Zena.. and in our beautiful Beirut.. i wish that there was something more i could do.. but sitting here in mexico city, i feel hopeless.

I did want to tell you, though, that there was a major demonstration here today.. there's a big Lebanese community here and they all dressed up in white and carried a single red rose while waving our flag.. I will send pictures once i get them!

You will get through this.. i know you will..

7:30 AM  
Blogger Lora Gordon said...

Hi Zena, I spent a year in Gaza and a semester in Beirut and of course have been glued to the news. I just want to say thank you for these journal entries. I have been sending them out to my listserve (about 200 people) and for the first time in my listserve history no one signs off. I'm in Chicago and on Saturday is the third demonstration in a week. The Arab community is really coming together and making a big push for this. Anyway, I just wanted you to hear about the good things happening. Stay safe, stay well, keep writing. Thanks again.

8:14 AM  
Blogger shaggy said...

Zeina you are an inspiration, you are showing us every day that we as individuals can make a difference. Please remember that dignity and self respect are within us and no one can take that from us... no one.

PS: It won't hurt to stock up... inshallah you won't need it and we'll have a huge party and go through your kitchen cabinets, but for now... :)

8:59 AM  
Blogger nazzal said...

and we believe in you ... i don't know any more if i believe in us ... but i do , in you , in lebanon .

الله يقويكم

all the warmth from kuwait , since its almost 50 degrees :)

yes we don't know each others , but yes through you and your blog , from the heart to lebanon .

8:06 PM  
Blogger Angel said...

Zena, stay strong, know that people all over the world are praying for peace for Lebanon!!!!

8:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

zena! you are our hero and our oxygen! your updates give us hope for lebanon. i stay up late & forward them all over the world. I want people to know the truth & keep circulating your message. god bless you always. hi fr nyc. denise n.(you once came to my art opening in bklyn w/nader) do you remember?

11:41 PM  

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